Check out the downloadable list of a reflection questions at the bottom of the post!
When I was in my adolescence I dreamed of one day being Carrie Bradshaw running around New York City, falling in love, being yearned after and giggles over cocktails with my girl-friends. Then I would find the love of my life, we would have kids and move to the suburbs to raise them and I would turn my sex column into a mommy-like-me blog and everything would be perfect. If you grasped the concept of this blog then you’ll understand that this dreamy lifestyle couldn’t be any further from my reality. Instead, I am a single mom raising two kids by herself in an overly expensive state, attending college full-time, attempting to launch my career for the third time, and working on the side as a waitress. That is just how life happens sometimes. Nothing went as planned and yes, it was easy to fall into depression at the direction my life went into. I was so far from where I wanted to be and felt like I had lost every bit of control!
I sat with the why me and the this is all wrong mindset for the entirety of my twenties. I spent years in bed doom scrolling or sleeping away anxiety and depression, just waiting for someone to come along to fix everything. You can imagine how that went. Did I learn my lesson then? Nope. I chased after someone who didn’t love me, I drank way to much alcohol, I surrounded myself with people who didn’t actually care about me, and I felt real bad for myself, everyday, for yearssss.
Recently, I have embraced my solitude. I have read myself into oblivion, I have committed to exercising more then I ever have in my entire life, I am ahead on my schoolwork, I try new things, and I am learning to get to know and love myself. I wake up each day genuinely feeling happier. As I sit as my desk and look at the tree’s blow in the wind, I can’t help but notice… what changed? (see what I did there?).
- I realized I was caring about all the wrong things. I felt I was inadequate because I was a single mom. I felt undesirable and angry, I wanted to have accomplishments more then I wanted to accomplish things. I was interested in things I thought would make me look better over investing in things that benefit mine and the kids future. I was shallow, impatient, anxious, and wasn’t prioritizing the things that mattered.
- I found a best friend in myself. I would sleep almost anytime I was alone. Or doom scroll and drink. Now, I look forward to days spent by myself. I have my blog, my school work, my books, my sketchbook, and so many things I could do with a drop of free time. I feel my to-do list is never ending and each day I set goals to accomplish as much as I can. I don’t mind getting lunch by myself, going shopping, seeing a movie, or going for a run. Things I thought would be humiliating or boring to do alone, I now find enjoyment in.
- I am better read. Mind you reading aligns with my career goals but even if it didn’t I would recommend reading more. I looked up inspiration writers and how many books they read per year and I set my own goals. I have read a lot about mental health, physical health, communication skills, and spirituality. I have learned a lot about when I am attacking myself, when I am jumping ship, and when I get to ride the waves of my emotions. I owe a great deal to my change in character to the wonderful books I get to know each night.
- I started doing things I wanted without fear of judgement. Think, posting like an influencer and making an effort to run every day (even if it’s only for 10 minutes). You have to start somewhere and it’s easy for friends and family to drag you down when you are trying to put yourself out there. It’s hard enough without having your “support system” laughing at you. Separating myself from those people allowed me to trust myself more.
- I focused on being more positive and more committed to my goals all around. Even when things aren’t working the way I have planned a new day is a new opportunity to do things correctly. I changed what I was watching, the music I was listening too, the books I was reading. Everything needed to reflect a more positive mindset and that positive mindset help power my commitment to my goals.
Why am I telling you this you may be wondering? It’s because it is five things you may want to start evaluating in your own life. I wish I did this years ago. It isn’t always rainbows and butterflies as nothing in this world is, but each day I wake up with more excitement. I am seeing progress, feeling lighter, moving on and it’s all thanks to that day that I woke up. Download my printable list of reflection questions for yourself! Thanks so much for reading!
